The article isn’t worth anything, but the video is.
We were discussing homosexuality because of an allusion to it in the book we were reading, and several boys made comments such as, “That’s disgusting.” We got into the debate and eventually a boy admitted that he was terrified/disgusted when he was once sharing a taxi and the other male passenger made a pass at him. The lightbulb went off. “Oh,” I said. “I get it. See, you are afraid, because for the first time in your life you have found yourself a victim of unwanted sexual advances by someone who has the physical ability to use force against you.” The boy nodded and shuddered visibly.“But,” I continued. “As a woman, you learn to live with that from the time you are fourteen, and it never stops. We live with that fear every day of our lives. Every man walking through the parking garage the same time you are is either just a harmless stranger or a potential rapist. Every time.” The girls in the room nodded, agreeing. The boys seemed genuinely shocked. “So think about that the next time you hit on a girl. Maybe, like you in the taxi, she doesn’t actually want you to.”
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Homophobia: The fear that another man will treat you like you treat women. Andrew Sullivan. (via bodyfluids) |
TTW: suicide, murder, grief
Kyle Scanlon, Leo, Raymond Taavel. Three deaths in just under three months. All of them one degree of separation away from me, all of them close enough to be a part of my community, my extended family. And then I think about all of the other people that I barely knew, like Mollie Olgin and Mary Chapa, a teenage lesbian couple shot in Texas. Or CeCe McDonald, currently serving time for defending herself, for keeping herself alive.
And I think about Elle Noir, and how last summer two men shot through in her apartment in the middle of the night, screaming “tranny faggot”. I think about how there have been two acts of extreme violence in Halifax in just under one year alone.
And I think about Mark Aguhar. I think about every time I’ve ever felt suicidal. I think about every time one of my friends has felt suicidal. And how close some of us have come. And how even if we don’t die, it stays with us. How when our friends die, it stay with us. The trauma stays with us, and triggers and festers.
I want my community to start talking about support.
I want us to talk about support in ways that are honest and crucial. I want us to stop being afraid of grief, too terrified to mention it, even more afraid of reaching out. I want to talk about depression, and suicide, and all of the fucking toxic shit that we live with, that we fight against just to make it through a day.I want us to be real with each other. I want to know that we can take care of each other… not just when we’re happy, but when we fucking need each other. When we’ve been raped, when we’re too scared to walk home at night, when we’re locked in our rooms crying for days, when we’re waking up with cold sweats from the drinks last night and the night before, when we’re suicidal, when we just fucking need someone.
I’m sick of bullshit. I’m sick of everyone tearing each other down with call outs and in-fighting. I want a community that keeps each other accountable with compassion, I want a community that understands that we NEED each other to find the collective strength to keep existing.
I want a community that understands that this is real and urgent. This is not some theoretical framework on the internet. This is actually how we relate to each other EVERY DAY, this manifests in EVERY SINGLE interaction we have with each other.
I want this for myself and I want this for others. I want to know that I can trust my community, because I already know that I can’t trust the oppressive world around me. I want to know that I don’t have to rely on the police for safety, on the prison system for accountability, or the medical system for support. I want to trust that my community is capable of taking care of me. And I want you to trust that I can take care of you too. And I want you to know that you’re not a burden, and I love you, and I’m glad that you’re here.<3
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thank you for writing this.
it made me cry.
