Because we live in such a monogamy-centered society, it makes sense that many people can only conceive of non-monogamy in what ultimately still amounts to monogamous terms. There is a common misconception that a polyamorous relationship is really no different from an open-relationship agreement: one committed couple, with some lighthearted fun on the side. But the word “polyamory,” by definition, means loving more than one. Many of us have deeply committed relationships with more than one partner, with no hierarchy among them and no core “couple” at the heart of it all. To me, this notion that there must be one more important relationship, one true love, feels a lot like people looking at same-sex couples and thinking that one person must be the “man” in the relationship and the other must be the “woman.” After all, both of these misunderstandings result from people trying to graft their normative conceptions of love and relationships onto people who are partnering in non-normative ways. It seems that it is somewhat easy for many people to acknowledge that humans are capable of loving one person and still enjoying sex with others (assuming, of course, that the terms of their relationship make such behavior acceptable). But it is much harder for people to think outside the fairy-tale notion of “the one” and imagine that it might be possible to actually romantically love more than one person simultaneously.
I wanna be hot enough to make people question their sexual orientation
Drive men and women and people who identify as gender neutral absolutely wild by paying attention to them and what they’re enjoying, like they’re an individual you are attracted to.
Consent workshops are as important for women as men. Just as men don’t realise they’ve raped, women often don’t realise they’ve been raped. They’ll say they felt uncomfortable, got taken advantage of, or were pressured into sex. Rarely will they ever use the word, thinking that it describes something else. But it doesn’t. I was initially the same - I didn’t realise I had been raped until a friend told me that that was exactly what I was describing.
Most importantly, consent workshops will shift responsibility from the victim to the perpetrator. They will teach men not to rape, rather than tell women not to wear short skirts or drink. Avoiding, rejecting and stigmatising victim-blaming is crucial for change.
Awareness is not enough. Knowing that racism exists is not enough for white people to want to see its destruction. So often they’re more interested in not being labeled a racist than in actually fighting racism. That means it isn’t enough to present the facts. Racism will have to disrupt the lives of white people before they are moved to action—that’s part of the reason some activist groups stress the crushing financial costs of maintaining the current criminal justice system—after all, it’s white taxpayers’ money, too. Until then, they seem content on doubling down.
Love is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in things we do for each other every day.
Passive aggressive Witch
I don’t curse people, I bless everyone around them.